It must not be lost on any believer that the truth of these verses is to be a part of every true believers journey of faith.  Though I cannot fully explain the depths of this passage, I deeply understand it and continue to gain spiritual insight.  One important item of note for those on the journey:  Our transformation to be Christlike is way beyond our circumstances.  God may use circumstances to get our attention (Lamentations 3:32; Isaiah 48:10), but it is only a tool to prepare us to be in His presence.  Those watching your life from the outside may attribute your feelings, actions and attitude to life events, but we must be gracious with them knowing they can never know the deep work God is doing on the inside of us, unless perhaps they have also been on the journey.  One reason that I love The Critical Journey book is that I can listen to people and often hear words that tell me where God has them on the journey.  I have felt that several people in My Tapestry often describe the Stage 4 Wall Experience, which makes sense that God would mobilize people into my life now since I spent over 2 years there in the recent past before navigating to Stage 5.  This experience is similar to what is described in Hinds Feet before Much-Afraid begins her journey to the High Places.

Steps of Faith

Stage 4 allows us, invites us and compels us to know ourselves and to know God in all God’s fullness.  We may experience a complete turnabout in our concept of both ourselves and God.  This often comes through a slow process.  It is a process of pursuing our integrity or discovering who we are as opposed to who others want us to be.  This is a strenuous and courageous process.  At the next stage, we find out who God wants us to be, and that is even more profound than who we think we are.  The deeper search at this stage can be lonely, and that often leads to frustration…In Stage 4, answers are replaced by questions.  The journey is intensely personal and difficult to share with others.  That makes it hard to develop a sense of belonging.” – The Critical Journey, Stage 4.

I selected the quote above because it could be right out of my journal.  It is not uncommon for our faith to be defined by our faith community, so when God calls you out to the High Places, it will cause concern among those whose circle you are breaking.  I found that within my circle of influence, people were very concerned that I was doing unconventional things to make way for God to work.  Leaving my comfort zone made others uncomfortable, but it was a critical step once I found the courage to do it.  I did not abandon my faith community, but I did lower my profile, became scarce, opted to fulfill my duty to the body, but then find solitude with God.  This was an incredible time because I would move from a desire to disconnect from the crowd to growing a craving for time with God.  I knew intellectually that God is always with me, but I could not wait to get alone with God and His word, often in nature.  These extended times alone with God would be rich times of peace, sometimes gaining perspective on life, other times gaining peace to being okay not understanding.  Over time, I would realize that God had been pruning me of things, people, false beliefs about Him, worldly wisdom, so many things that prevented me from seeing Him clearly.  It was in that process that I would come to see myself more clearly as well and to embrace who he made me to be.  This process would also be foundational to move to a more sanctifying work He was planning.

“…then suddenly, as if by a stern Command from Great Authority, the storm suddenly ceased.  So palpable was the quiet that W. felt himself becoming as quiet as the valley before him.  Entering an interior place he had never visited before, a place of total inward stillness.  Out of the stillness, came the whisper of a voice… “To most, I am called the Comforter, however, they call me that for all the wrong reasons and are surprised when comfort doesn’t come.  They have no tolerance for mystery, certain they can know everything knowable.  I am Spirit.  You are brave.  You have made this frightening journey alone to this secluded mountain top”…”Your journey has begun in promise little friend, but it could end in failure unless you are brave enough to risk the next step.  You see, the evil one has studied you to discovery where you are most vulnerable, has used your bad feelings about your leg and scars to tempt you to hate yourself.  He is trying to steal the joy of your life, but this doesn’t have to happen if you can embrace what lies around the corner, even when it is unknown.  It can be dangerous because you will need to let go of your hold on life.  You’ll feel as if you are losing control and the illusion of being in charge of your own future, of being the master of your own destiny will vanish.  For the first time in your life, you will understand just how much you are loved.  It’s risky, without a doubt, but it will set you on the road to freedom. Do you have the courage little one?  “Um…what’s around the corner?” asks W.  “Trust” replies Spirit. “Trust that everything that has happened to you has brought you to this moment.  The car accident, your mother’s death, your leg, even your scars, and trust that the good work that has been started in you will be brought to completion, but it is like stepping into the dark.  Are you ready?”  W. could not understand everything he heard, but he remembered words of his grandmother, “there is something more important than understanding!”  He knew that something was love.  Maybe love and trust were almost the same thing!” – excerpt, Patched Together by Brennan Manning

Awakened to Our Creatureliness   

With each encounter, I found myself being more transparent with God and with people.  The realization of what was happening became overwhelming.  His presence often brought me to tears, so thankful for all that He brought me through, no longer bitterly asking why, but instead asking forgiveness for my lack of faith.  It is not uncommon, even now, to be reading or praying and well up inside from a spiritual truth He is sharing with me, something that has been uncommon in my life since I first heard the call of salvation.  In our life of faith, we move in stages that parallel our physical journey to a degree.  We start as babes that move to curiosity, then to self-awareness which makes us productive as we grow in self-reliance.  The move forward from this stage requires getting close enough to God that the Shekinah of Glory exposes our darkness forcing us to see our true selves, creatures blemished by sin.  We identify with Paul in our wretchedness (Romans 7:24) and are humbled to bow down within us (Lamentations 3:19-22).  This is a deep work of God that brings you to surrender all to God.  In short, the grief of who we are provokes a surrender of self to God who loves us and reconciled us to Himself.  I have come to call this my Isaiah 6 moment as Isaiah was moved to surrender, “woe is me, I am ruined…for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of Hosts.” (Isaiah 6:5).  Job had a similar experience stating “My ears had heard of of You, but now my eyes see You and I repent in dust and ashes” (Job 42:5-6).  Peter also had the experience in Luke 5:8.

There is still much to write on this stage of faith, but for now I am writing to introduce it.  For now, I will table the rest in order to give time to process and reflect as writing the short amount above has further stimulated things that I want to share going forward.  So with that, I close with what I consider a great statement of hope and encouragement, that is the transformation of Much-Afraid when she arrives at the High Places: