Hi Dad,

I can’t believe it has been over a year since you’ve been gone.  I still miss you a lot and I still regret the time that I did not make to be with you.  Only now do I see how insignificant so many other things are when compared to spending time with loved ones.  I know I had a hard time expressing myself, but I loved you so much and still do.  I wish you were still with us.  So much has happened this year that we all wish you could share in.  Sharon and the kids began coming to church with me and are getting involved in some of the charity work, so I am hopeful.  Chris gave his life to Jesus and is doing great, we meet once a week for discipleship.  Mom is doing good, she has been going to a women’s Bible study and it has been really good to see God doing some things in her.  She asks me if I think Uncle Carlos is with you, he left us shortly after you departed.  That is also still hard to believe.  Mom talks about you a lot.  She has shared a lot of stories about you and things you would do for her, especially when you were courting.  It makes me laugh because now I see where I got it from.  Though you are not with us, you still make us laugh a lot.  Christmas, birthdays, holidays, someone always has a story or remembers something that you said and we always laugh.  Thank you for that, we need it often.

Mom and Dad at our Christmas in Lake Tahoe

I have spent a lot of time this year thinking about things you taught me and things you didn’t realize you taught me.  This year has been about getting my life back together, starting over and listening to what God wants me to learn.  There is a lot you didn’t know about.  I am no longer married, I didn’t want to tell you because you were sick and I new it would upset you.  Kind of a long story, but I feel like you already know everything that I am sharing, at least that is my hope.  But I am okay now, it’s been a long road, but I have found new hope, so anything is possible.  One of the things that I often think about is how you would speak about mom when she wasn’t there.  You always honored her and spoke with high admiration, even when things weren’t  going well.  I never saw you look at another woman or make inappropriate comments.  I don’t know if that was on purpose or if you were even aware of it, but I was watching and I respect that so much, especially now that I understand that struggle of being alone.  She told me this year that she never stopped loving you, told me about the song she played for you on the radio in 10th grade.  She was there the night you departed.  I hope you heard what she said to you as you slept, I’ll never forget it.  I know the last years were hard, but you know she would not have left if it wasn’t for her sickness, I hope you knew that.  She is very strong and getting better, oh how I wish you were here!  I think about our talks in those last couple of years.  You didn’t know what I was going through, but those talks where you shared with me about mom helped me through a very hard time.  I know that God had a hand in that and I am glad those words came from you.  I am going to play your song now that Mom played for you in 1960.  Happy Birthday Dad!!!  Somehow, someway, somewhere, I hope this makes you smile!  As always, I continually ask the Lord that you will be there when I get there.  Please be there…!