I began writing this review about two years ago, but I found it difficult because I was still processing.  Then three months ago, I was on a train traveling from Milan to Rome, quietly enjoying the Italian countryside, rolling through lush green hills, vineyards and olive gardens.  For some reason, after a couple of hours of quiet reflection, I wrote down the following and am now sharing:

In thinking about this updated review on the Second Edition, I still feel that the strength of the book rests in those personal examples of life events and how the book was a good tool for navigating those situations.  Now, the Critical Journey identifies six stages in the life of faith as following:

Stage 1: Recognition of God – this is when we begin our faith journey.  This may happen through a conversion event and one day we have an experience in which God becomes very real and personal to us.  The book also describes the journey starting like a romance that grew out of a friendship and there is no specific moment that can be pointed to when the relationship with God began.  This is common for those raised in the church, those who have “always believed.”  Regardless of how you found faith, both experience a time of making faith their own, apart from family or others.

Stage 2: The Life of Discipleship – this is a period of time when we begin to learn about God and begin to get rooted in the faith community.  This is when we learn doctrine and why we believe our statement of faith.  Like a young child becoming self-aware, believers at this stage begin to establish a confident identity as a believer, a Christian, a child of God, etc.  That confidence is emboldened by the church which provides a sense of security from being with like minded people.  This is the time of moving from milk to solid food in the spiritual progression of moving towards a fruitful life.  This is also a good indication that the seed of the gospel fell on good soil (see Matthew 13, the Parable of the Sower), though some may go through this period of intellectual growth, but never unite their knowledge with faith (Hebrews 4:2).

Stage 3: The Productive Life – this is a period when we begin to start doing things for God, volunteering, working, finding ways to serve the church or the community.  We have a desire to be productive for God while achieving a sense of personal satisfaction from responding to God’s conviction to serve.  This is a critical time because living here too long is often when believer get burnt out, feel stagnant or allow a growing feeling discontent to take root.  This can also be a time of growing spiritual pride and becoming a pharisee towards others, trading grace and mercy for law and judgment.  For genuine believers, this is a dangerous place to go because the journey back will be much more excruciating.  At this stage, we find value in our “accomplishments” for God, but seeking to sustain that productive “high” can lead someone from abiding in Christ to performance based Christianity that seeks to quench the inner thirst (John 7:37-38) through church activity rather than Christ.  Transitioning from Stage 3 to Stage 4 is a time of the testing of faith.  When God shakes up our world (Isaiah 42:23-25), the call to persevere and process will be rivaled by the temptation to walk away from God.  However we respond, this is when the genuineness of our faith is exposed.  It is easy to believe when life is exactly how you want it, but what we do when life is disrupted reveals everything about the state of the inner man.

Stage 4: The Journey Inward – this is a transition period where we begin to become whole and see ourselves honestly before God.  We move from the outward, happy place Christianity to Inward reflection.  This is the beginning of full self-awareness and seeing that we are poor in spirit (Matthew 5:3).  The book describes stage four as very personal and “almost always comes as an unsettling experience yet results in healing for those who continue through it.”  From the book, “This is a period of uncertainty, doubt, falling apart, and indulging in self-centeredness.   We look hopeless and awkward at this stage causing others to be concerned for us, but our focus is intensely on God and we are not at all concerned about the approval or understanding of others.”  This is face time with God.  I have come to call this the “Isaiah 6 Moment,” the time when we see ourselves in light of the holiness of God.  In stage 1, we accept that we are sinners, but are never fully aware until we encounter the holiness of God.  There is a mystery to this experience that I continue to attempt to explain, but the best way is to look at scripture and see the experience of the righteous man Job (Job 42:5-6) or the disciple Peter (Luke 5:8).  Isaiah the prophet and the Apostle Paul also had the experience and many others have tried to explain it.  The book does a good job of helping us identify and process this experience in our faith.

The world is made for those who are not cursed with self-awareness, but for those of us who are cursed, there is a tremendous blessing awaiting.  When we get honest about ourselves, transparent before God, then can we find the beauty in surrender.”

The Wall: This is part of stage 4, but an intense time of transformation in our faith as we experience healing, spiritual, emotional, possibly mental as well.  The Wall experience can come about by a variety of experiences which results in our will and God’s will come face to face.  The question of Surrender is the focus, and the deep work of God to this point brings the self into perspective.  In preparation for this time, God may shake our foundations by removing security blankets such as identity, comfort or understanding, material possessions, relationships or anything that has consumed us and prevented us from loving God with all of our heart, soul, mind and strength!  This is often a time when the idols of our heart are exposed, whether those are desires or blessings, we feel convicted that our focus on them has made them an idol.  This is a very personalized experience that exposes barriers to our faith and ultimately drives us to surrender to whatever God may call us to do.  This may be to move towards something we have been resisting, giving up a dream that is out of God’s will for our life, let go of security blankets that define us, whether that be career, relationships, or even past hurts or betrayals.  This is truly a time of healing, but sometimes we cannot get better until we have heart surgery, as the bandages of conventional wisdom have predictably failed to do the work in us that only the Spirit can do.   Biblical tenets such as freedom in Christ, surrender, take up your cross, and cast all your cares on Him, suddenly become realized, very personal and very active in our lives.The fruit of this process is to begin to understand John 3:30, that He must increase and I must decrease.  Our interpretation of pain and suffering is forever changed.  The trials of life no longer move us to fear and anxiety, but rather to a place of standing firm, of recognizing that Christ is being formed in us (Galatians 4:19) and we begin to embrace the fellowship of His suffering (Philippians 3:7-11).  The reality of the deep work of God in you is often expressed emotionally.  For me, I would often have tears well up inside, and still do, but then it was daily.  I would look for private places to cry as an act of worship, as I became fully aware of God transforming me.  Sometimes it was mixed tears as I was being pruned, the realization of loss of something I adored or was proud of, that I may gain Christ overwhelmed me to be humbly grateful and thankful.  I would sometimes think of Psalm 56:8 and wonder if these were salty tears for the bottle or an expression of thanksgiving, sometimes I couldn’t tell, but ultimately I realized that the change going on in me brought overwhelming joy.  I was done fighting for my will and found joy in God’s will, not fully known, but now able to trust and anticipate with eagerness.  This was all a time of gaining perspective through silence and solitude, being vulnerable, and tasting the peace in surrender.

Stage 5: The Journey Outward:  This is the period of rediscovering God and accepting His love.  This is a time of surrender, with eyes wide open and no longer afraid, but truly trusting that God is leading.  In earlier stages of faith, we accept God’s love intellectually, perhaps give it lip service, but now we understand the love of God, as best we can this side of heaven, in light of our depravity and God’s holiness!  All illusions of “self” have been shattered and our pride has been severely wounded, if not fully put to death!  Pure humility is realized in the heart knowledge that God loves us despite our condition, and we now understand that God does not love us because of our merit, but we have merit because He loves us which is a hard truth that our pride and stubborn hearts will resist without the stripping that takes place in Stage 4.  The work done during the journey inward is realized in Stage 5 as we engage the world and can live for others and give of ourselves freely.  Self-centeredness no longer keeps us from serving God the way He has called us to serve Him.  Our motivation in life comes from gratitude and thankfulness for what God has done in our deliverance.  All life choices are a response to our relationship as His child with little or no regard for the circumstances of this world.  The book has many quotes from believers who have documented this part of their journey, but below are two of the quotes that could have been right out of my journal:

“I crave my time alone with the Spirit now.  Before, I put in my daily prayer time and occasionally scrimped on God.  Now I miss it deeply if I don’t have that time.  I look forward to how it changes my day.”

At this stage of my journey, time with God is not a checklist item for my small group, but rather an intimate encounter with my Creator, my God, my Abba.  I can experience the freedom of Christ in my creatureliness without the internal need to justify myself to others.

“I am a servant to others because I love them.  Whatever is asked of me, I will do.  God’s love propels me to be there, to be available for others.  That’s all there is.  That’s life.”  

On my inward journey, God reawakened me to that reality that every person I encounter is someone that He died for and that person is not speaking with me by chance.  As God is weaving my tapestry, bringing people into my path, I am learning to listen to their needs, to be the hands and feet of Christ.  Not in grandiose ways, but often in very simple things that make a big difference to others.  I often feel that God’s leading even helps me anticipate needs and respond, which produces great gratitude from recipients.  These events continue to move me deeply as His Spirit gives testimony to my spirit that He is with me, I am His child and together we are pursuing Matthew 6:33.  At this stage, life feels more content, more trusting, more awareness that God is in control, and more peace because God is good, all-powerful, sovereign, and has adopted me into His forever family. 

Stage 6: The Life of Love: “At this stage we reflect God to others in the world more clearly and consistently than we ever thought possible.  We let our light shine in such a way that God is given the credit and the thanks.  At stage 6, we have lost ourselves in the equation, while at the same time, we have truly found ourselves.  We are selfless.”  This is a time of responding to God with obedience, a loving response motivated by gratitude, without deliberation of cost to us.  The idea of dying to self is a popular cliche in church, but now it is occurring as a natural response to the call of God rather than the burden of the “to do list” of ministry.  There is no moral scorecard, no checklist of christian duty, no concern of being thought godly, just a response to whatever God places before us in the moment.  Inwardly, I can pray continually, always mindful of His presence, and seeing His hand in many things that I had previously taken for granted.  During this time, we become more detached from the things of the world, desires change, possessions are easily parted with and more giving with money.  Things we hoped for in the past are no longer necessary because we know they will not add value or satisfaction to our life.  We can also now see who we are, how God made us and why He made us a certain way.  Instead of chasing this idealized version of ourselves, we can accept who we are and begin to understand how God wants to use us for the eternal benefit of others.  Perhaps we begin to use the gifts we have neglected for so long or we discover new gifts that He will use.

In thinking through these stages, I recall thinking that these are linear stages that occur over time, however that has not been my experience.  In this updated edition, the author clarifies that these are stages in the life of faith that we can move in and out of many times over the course of our walk with God.  In addition, I had been wondering if a believer can experience two stages at once, perhaps living in Stage 5, but have a Stage 4 experience in regards to a specific situation or some combination of the stages.  The book does speak to this as well and states that simultaneous, multi-stages are possible given the dynamics of life.  This has been my experience and the characteristics of each stage are easily identifiable as quickly as scenario or company changes.  Through it all, I see that God has called me to begin my second journey with Him.  In Brennan Manning’s book, The Ragamuffin Gospel, he has a chapter called “The Second Call” in which he describes the experience of God redirecting a life.  I am writing about this now and will be sharing as that chapter and the chapter on Stage 6 in the Critical Journey seem to be pointing to the same process in the life of faith and both resonate deeply with my experience.  My former life is one that many would desire and was filled with many blessings, but God has pruned me of everything that made up that kingdom for His eternal purposes, and now has begun to restore my life and cultivate the desires of my heart in a way more pleasing to Him… and though I would have never sought it on my own, I am now thankful!  Thankful because He brought good from bad, especially when I spent many days wondering how anything good could come from this mess.  It still makes me cringe because God has brought me to the place He had called me to all along, but my own pursuits caused me to lose sight of Him and so He moved to get my attention (Isaiah 42:23-25) at the expense of everything including my marriage (Haggai 1:1-11).  God is a God of Thanksgiving and He blesses us and desires to bless us more, but when those blessings become idols in our hearts, they become obstacles to our faith.  One of the biggest lessons I learned is to be thankful for all things and to keep His good gifts in proper perspective, never allowing good things to become ultimate things! 

I would recommend this book to all Christians no matter where you are on the journey.  Much of the book may not resonate with believers who are living in early stages of faith, but could be helpful for a believer who has been stuck in stage 1, 2 or 3 for a long time.  The Critical Journey will be a valuable tool for those who are facing a variety of circumstances, whether that is seeking clarity, feeling stagnant, feeling distant from God, stymied by fear, unable to heal or forgive, or other like circumstances.  It is the instinct of the natural man to make outward changes or changes to our environment, location, career, etc. when God tugs on our hearts, so it is critical that we recognize the call of God rather than quickly move to restore our comfort zone.  This is NOT a time to make changes on our own, but a time to BE STILL BEFORE GOD!  This is one of a handful of books that I have read multiple times and I do recommend it for those seeking to go deeper in their walks with Jesus.

SOME AFTERTHOUGHTS:

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In her book, Brokenness, Nancy DeMoss describes two ways that we are completely broken before God.  Both are a work of the Spirit, but one is out of pure obedience to the Word of God and believing what God says about our condition and who He is.  The second way is by great loss and a complete destruction of our own kingdoms.  Most people will unconsciously choose the latter, largely because of pride and self-righteousness.  I do not say that in a judgmental way, but I speak from experience (Psalm 119:71).  Everybody is broken, but most people are unaware of it and the devil has made it his aim to promote this confusion in the church (1 Timothy 4:1).  A subtle confusion has crept in to the church that blends true surrender with self-help spirituality, but you will not recognize it unless the Word of God is prevalent in your mind (Psalm 119:66-72), so that the Holy Spirit in you can expose every lie of the devil.  To get to this place, you must be willing to do two things: 1) study the Word of God like your life depended on it, because it does and so do the lives of those who hear you (1 Timothy 4:16) and 2) you must stand firm (Philippians 4:1) because living the gospel in daily life will bring much criticism, not only from the world, but from church goers (Psalm 119:69; Romans 14:7-10).  We must stand firm on the Word of God, even if we stand alone, and we must be strong in the Word to be a light in the darkness as well as the light (Ephesians 4:25-32).  Any amount of lumens can provide guidance in the dark, but a strong light, powered by thousands of lumens will provide great brightness in rooms well lit.  The Word of God administered by the power of the Spirit allows us to be that bright light.

C.S. Lewis wrote in ‘Mere Christianity’ that God would not go through the trouble of saving you, and then leave you in the condition in which He found you.  This is why Jesus begins the Sermon on the Mount with “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven” (Matthew 5:3).  The word poor that Jesus uses denotes that of a beggar.  That means one who is aware that they are spiritually destitute, have nothing to offer and can only be in the Kingdom by an act of grace and mercy, pure lovingkindness of God with no inkling of a thought that you are worthy.  It is to arrive at the place of true self-awareness, dropping the fig leaves that mask our identity and the realization the sin-awareness is self-awareness!  This is the moment of brokenness, the beginning of surrender, a beggar who longs for the Kingdom of Heaven.  It is in that moment of humility, when you humble yourself before God and place yourself on the altar.  Complete surrender comes when the love of God moves from head knowledge to heart knowledge.  Bowed prostrate, the weeping of the inner man, often joined by the tears of the outer man, unable to lift our eyes to heaven, the Lord kneels down…gently lifts our chin up…looks us in the eye, and embraces us.  Adopted into the family of God, there is a deep transformation, as God is no longer our judge, but our Father, no longer slaves, but a child of God (Romans 8:15-16).  Jesus said, “to whom much is given, much is required” (Luke 12:48), so how do we not give everything for the One who gave everything that we might be called children of God (John 1:12).

Everything that I just described is the common bond of all believers.  I am not referring to a deep emotional experience, though that is common, but rather to cultivate genuine faith.  The reason the parable of the Sower has four seeds and only one of the four is a true believer is because 3 of the 4 seeds never experience a complete destruction of confidence in themselves.  There is no recognition of being spiritually destitute, but rather some idea persists that they have chosen God and God is fortunate to have us.  This is the big lie of Arminianism.  If you listen to the words of the churchgoers in Matthew 7:21-23, their defense is all the stuff they did for God, no different than the pharisee who thanks God that he is not like other people (Luke 18:9-14).  It is this self-righteousness that is a stench to God and has no place in the Kingdom of Love.  It is always good to do the work that God has prepared for us (Ephesians 2:10), but we must test our hearts and be moved by pure motives (Proverbs 16:2; 1Corinthians 4:5), lest we become like the church at Ephesus who did many good works, but had lost their first love (Revelation 2:2-4), but thankfully we have a Heavenly Father who loves us enough to correct us (Revelation 2:5-7).

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Further Reading:

The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning

Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard

The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer 

Brokenness by Nancy DeMoss